Jackson Thayer Antoni

In my story of Jackson I kept a few things and I scrapped a few things. I changed the car that he drives and I also changed the ending. It felt really strange to go back and reread my story and still find something that could be changed and made better. I also added some more dialogue between Jackson and Vanessa and I described Kelly and Jonathon. I kept the way he describes himself in the mirror because I couldn't think of a better way to describe him yet. I also described what his room looked like I described how he has posters of Shay Mitchell, Megan Fox, and Aaliyah. He also has a poster of Maroon 5 who is one of his favorite bands.  I described what the house looked like stating that it looked like a villa with a pool in the backyard, five bedrooms, a movie theater in the basement, and also a studio where you could draw paint, or make music.  I tried to use more sensory detail like smell, touch and, taste. I’ll try to develop that more in chapter two. I want to give you a little hint of what is going on with Jackson because I think that’s fair. Jackson will start having nightmares about the fire and each time he goes to sleep at night he will get more clues on how he survived the fire and how his parents actually died.  I hope that I was able to make my story better than it was and I hope that you all like it.